Lena’s Journey

Dear Prairie Letters,

I’ve been meaning to share a piece of my heart for a while now, and I figured it’s about time I put it into words.

I don’t know where to start, so I’ll just dive in. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach—a sense of unease I couldn’t quite pin down. It was only in my mid-twenties that I realized what I was dealing with was more than just occasional anxiety. It was the start of a mental health journey that’s been both harrowing and enlightening.

I remember the day it all started to unravel. I was sitting at my desk, staring at the blinking cursor on a blank page, and suddenly it felt like the walls of my apartment were closing in. My chest tightened, and I could barely breathe. At that moment, I knew something was seriously wrong. I tried to brush it off as stress, but deep down, I knew it was more than that.

I began seeing a therapist, someone who helped me navigate this complex landscape of mental health. One of the first things we explored together was the idea that what I was experiencing wasn’t just anxiety—it was a complex blend of generalized anxiety disorder and depression. Hearing this felt like a weight had been lifted, in a strange way. Finally, there was a name for the chaos I felt inside.

The road to understanding and managing my mental health has been anything but smooth. There were days when I felt like I was making progress, only to be knocked down by a wave of self-doubt or a particularly tough panic attack. It was during those moments that I learned the importance of self-compassion. I was guided to understand that mental health isn’t a linear journey. It’s full of ups and downs, and that’s okay.

Medication has played a significant role in my journey. It took a while to find the right balance, and I faced some rough patches with side effects, but eventually, we found a combination that works for me. I remember the first day I felt a difference—it was as if a fog had lifted, allowing me to see colors more vividly. It didn’t solve everything, but it gave me a foothold to start climbing out of the abyss.

I also began practicing mindfulness and meditation. It sounded like a cliché at first, but I can honestly say it’s been transformative. I still struggle with my thoughts spiraling into dark places, but these practices help me ground myself and find moments of peace.

One of the most challenging parts of this journey has been opening up to my loved ones. I used to hide behind a mask of normalcy, afraid of being a burden. But I’ve learned that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Sharing my struggles with friends and family has not only provided me with support but also deepened my connections with them.

Looking back, I see how far I’ve come, even though the journey is ongoing. I’m learning to embrace the good days and find solace in the small victories. It’s a process of constant growth, and while it’s not always easy, it’s been worth every step.

Thank you for reading my story. It means more to me than you know. I hope this letter helps you understand me a bit better and reminds you that it’s okay to ask for help and take things one day at a time.

With all my love,

Lena